This car is disgustingly excessive, and I am all here for it.

We traded my wife’s late 90's Cherokee for a lightly used ‘05 Liberty in ‘06. While I was never big on it’s styling - which is probably where a lot of the criticism comes from - it was a perfectly solid vehicle that got us where we needed to go with minimal maintenance. The v6 was sufficient for road trips and doing…

You know that, I can’t so much as drink a damn glass of water around a midget or a piece of antique furniture.

If it’s anything like my Hondas, it will take maybe a minute - open (and empty!) the glovebox, squeeze the sides the guides can escape the track, drop it completely, pull out old filter, insert new filter, and then reinsert the glovebox. I take them to the dealer for oil changes, and they want $30 each to replace the…

This was my first thought - sure, he’s cleaned a couple parts but there’s a whole vehicle that’s probably falling apart. It doesn’t need to be a whole pool, just deep enough to touch the door sills.

Noice! I had a slight suspicion it was GM but not the depth to place it. I like how it just stops at 85 - if you’re going faster than that in that car, you have much more pressing matters than watching the speedo. I like honest cars like that - our Pilot’s speedometer goes to 140, and while I appreciate the aspiration…

This needs to be a category - guess the gauge cluster! I have no idea what yours is, but it reminds me of my first car. I had a Cutlass Ciera with a round speedometer and my friend’s parents had a Buick Century - the bigger difference than the minor external styling was that the speedometer was similar to your pic. 

The first time I saw that sticker on someone’s car I thought it said “Slut Life” and now that all I think whenever I see it.

I was bummed when I had to return my old shield plate for the war of 1812 version.

Same with the current gen - I think the hatchback is way better than the sedan. It even fits better with the excessively aggressive Transformer styling, which I kind of like.

Give no fucks whatsoever, make it 1" shorter than the average height of a brodozer.

You know, this reminds me of the “mystery” dum-dum lollipops - they’re the flavor mix that comes when the machinery switches from one flavor to the next. Instead of discarding the candy, they just put a ? on it and it seems like a cool surprise.

I had a ‘93 Cutlass Ciera and as much as I hated to it then, I miss it now and wish I’d had treated it better.

Were they recorded by the man from the Ministry of Housinge?

Hmmm... how many cars have been named after a cheese? Let’s get Torch on it ASAP!

I concur - interesting story, great writing. This metaphor sealed it for me:

Can anything in mid-size segment compete with the F150 on capability or sales? That’s a non sequitir because nothing in either your original post or my response mentioned that vehicle so I’ll ignore that.

The absolute leader in midsize trucks is the Tacoma, and Toyota sold 250k of those last year. That still shows how far behind the Ridgeline is without making weird comparisons.

Also, Arkansas City, Kansas is a place - WTF?

Aren’t the CR-V/Element suggestions basically the same thing, but more utilitarian?