I’m with you - without having any real idea, I would have thrown out a wild guess that it was some extra weird Citroen.

As there is no god, only money, I see no reason why we can’t do this for ourselves in the privacy of our homes.

The people who are in the market for a $60k+ sports car like this probably aren’t very bothered by current events.

WTF is that - is that a Panamera backend grafted on a 911? I like the z3 clown show, but this is an abomination.

Damn - remember when you could get a two-door version of almost anything? I so desperately wanted an early 90's Grand Prix coupe for my first car, but as that was ridiculously wishful thinking I ended up with a hand-me-down early 90's Cutlass Ciera.

Give the Onion a break - the world seems to be descending into a parody of itself and isn’t leaving the writers much to work with.

FTAH: If you could you water the plant on my desk that would be great. Thanks.

Why do people think that making a front engined car into a mid engined car replica works?

Payload capacity is rated 10 kilos less, for reasons beyond my understanding.

Toaster ovens with a convection setting are where it’s at.

Also - like changing the spark plugs - it needs to be awkward as hell to get 2 of the 4 slices in.

I had a vision of an AI apocalypse - only instead of a SkyNet building killer robots to hunt down humans, we just need a Level 5 driving AI to become self-aware and start taking us out via “accidents” on our commutes or errands. Then again, if there’s nothing but autonomous cars driving around, their tires will rot…

a peanut butter, breakfast sausage and cheese sandwich was somehow OK

we can all hail electric cars to take us to our final destination.

Once you grow up, it quickly becomes claustrophobic hell. See also the time in college I shared the backseat of a 90’s Mercury Capri with a friend that was also over 6’ tall. 

“Actually, it’s perfect. I just never realized John Wayne walked like that.”

I spent a 5+ hour road trip in a contemporary Ranger in those jump seats when I was a kid with my grandpa and mom in the good seats - I was skinny so it wasn’t a problem, and we put some suitcases across the floor so I had a great lounge area. It’s an awesome configuration when you’re 10.

I came here to suggest this exact vehicle. I had an ‘04 v6 Mustang, but that didn’t baby well so I moved on to an ‘09 Outback that did. Many years later, I was tired of the slow brown wagon, and moved on to a ‘17 Ridgeline - which is the perfect vehicle for us due to its combination of comfort, reliability, and utility…

the single center-locking lug nut is capable of swapping out in just 0.5 seconds per corner, while the current 5-lug pattern takes around 0.8 seconds per corner.