So, what’s the flaw in his logic? I also shower and wash my penis every day. Urination is simple: I daintily lift it out of my pants by the (circumcised, smegma-free) loose skin of the shaft. My fingers don’t come near any urine. So I’d no sooner wash my hands after than I would after pinching my arm. Is this wrong?…

CLAP ON

Mr Nolan. You old Idealist, after all. You’ll always be “Mister Popular” with me, buddy. Say, I’ll bet you could use a hug.

Just so.

Whoa, really? They do? Hey...yeah! Now that I think about it, choices do have consequences, don’t they? It’s like I’m seeing the world in a whole new light now! What a profound contribution. Your comment just changed my life, sir.

I dream of meeting the lovely lady at 0:35 (who NAILS her line, btw): I pivot toward her, finger guns unholstered, mimicking gunfire with two lateral clicks of my tongue. Thus winning her heart, I take her hand and lead her to the couch, where I bid her ask any weird question she desires. Her first question is “wanna…

I was slouched in my chair just now, breakfast plate perched precariously on my FUPA. When I read this tweet my torso twitched with an involuntarily spasm of jubilation, causing the plate to wobble. A piece of Banquet© Brown ‘n Serve Beef Sausage rolled off onto the floor! Fully woke, I sprang into action, grabbed the…

You sound like a fine teacher.

Experts still disagree about some of the basic characteristics of zombies. Recent documentaries indicate that they can live for years without any kind of sustenance. But for how long? If they can avoid head trauma, are they essentially immortal? If so, then they are indeed supernatural creatures, existing outside the…

I hate anyone that ever had a pony when they were growing up!

Hmm. So men prefer having their semen swallowed rather than spat out, correct? And a “black card” signals economic wealth? So this woman will do things for wealthy men that she would not do for others. Interesting. I wonder how far she would go to please a rich man. I can’t honestly say that I am curious enough to…

Your comment was revelatory for me, a Real Housewives virgin.

Easy. The World Trade Center reaction would be the one that doesn’t include the phrase “he missed it”.

Wait how did he pick up a honeydew Texas drawl at Princeton?

Freedom costs a buck o’ five.