I didn’t realize reading a bunch of soup puns would make my day so much better, but here we are.

J.R. didn’t help matters when, after being suspended, he was seen in the locker room stewin’.

Good pho him

Who does J. R. Smith think he is? Souperman?

We can’t punish all law-abiding soup drinkers just because of one bad apple. What we need is more good guys with hotter soup and in bowls that are easier to throw at people.

This whole thing could have been avoided had Smith just stepped back and taken a deep broth…

A one game suspension seems fair for detrilentil conduct.

The problem isn’t soup, it’s violent cooking shows.

When you woke up this morning, did you think of yourself as someone who would call the teenaged survivor of a mass shooting a liar on the internet, or are you surprised to learn that about yourself?

Yes, fair points! This post is not meant to be universally-applicable.

I guess after the Petit-Frere coup, you could say that Ohio State is no longer a little brother in this rivalry....

The door is over there? Great, thanks.

I am wondering what else the doctor tried before he settled on “Jenny McCarthy’s half-brother with bad shirts.” But I have to figure he knew he hit it out of the ballpark the second he landed on this one.

Consulting. Next question.

I don’t really have a master plan, but my daily plan is to inform people about how the gov’s decisions impacts them personally. Sorry that doesn’t align with your politics :/

He’s black.

Dragging a chair into the shower and sitting there for an hour

Those are really the three major highlights (and most people missed em) :)

good news, I’m a fucking jew!

As long as Bill Walton gets to be Secretary of Agriculture (to grow the real dank shit) I’m happy.

Well, November is NFL's "Buy More Licensed Gear Because We Dress Our Shit in Camo Unless You Hate 'Merica" Month.