That’s because you had a Wayland address........

The Florida Man twitter account is alive and well. All the stories in this article are directly from that timeline.

Where do you think the Air Force is from? I know, not all of it, but check a map of the panhandle and the keys. Between the AF, NAS and Marine base area, it adds up to roughly Connecticut.

I can’t decide if you left out a dot over the “i” or a “t”

I’m from Gainesville. Every drunken, sister-fucking, cow-tipping, car stealing redneck I encountered in the Sunshine State was from INDIANA.

If it says “Mustang” “Camaro” “GT” or “SS”

I got the actual numbers for Wayland and Weston mixed up in my head. I’ve had equal harassment from Wayland and Weston cops, mostly along Rt 20 where the speed limits dance schizophrenically from 45 to 20 and they roll up the sidewalks after 10pm. And God help you if you have a headlight out, that’s a towing offense.

Weston’s property values are protected by the intolerant police force, exhorbitant property taxes, antique zoning laws and general snobbyness. Weston IS an HOA.

Right? Not long ago an uncovered parking spot full of garbage in Boston sold for like 360k. Not that I’d ever bother with that market.

HOA’s are full of people who have full liquor cabinets.... Or none at all. The booming stereo system fits on the bookshelf playing classic hits on volume level 2. Their oil gets changed at the dealership, just like the brake pads. Nothing else, though, because it’s time to trade that jalopy in! It’s almost out of…

30 years as a truck mechanic and I’ve never heard them called Mansfield bars. That’s the ICC bumper. We use it to pick up the back of the trailer for brake jobs, load leveling, tow extrication, etm. There aren’t a lot of solid and accessible points other than that.

I’m not running a car museum. No creature comforts, no possibility of finding parts if you crash, ugly as a bag of smashed assholes.

That’s how I’ve felt since power wheels started showing up all those years ago. By the time I was old enough for one I had exceeded the weight capacity. I would have tolerated folding my legs up to fit.

Only Ken could get away with driving something that ugly in public. Because you know it’s life expectancy is as close to zero as it gets with a non-Asian driver.

Awhile back I worked for a towing company that worked out of the same building as a shitty little body shop. The body shop had a showroom / storage area that was mostly junk piled randomly, until one day I realized I was looking at a black Jalpa that was in cardboard boxes and mostly broken down into pieces that could…

Read.

“This all added together to bump the output to 240-bhp. These cars still had the Lucas ECU as Callaway had engineered the engine based on that, and not the Bosch system that was added by Land Rover in 1999.”

Pfft.... Amateur.

It says Lucas right in the article. I’m not speculating.

It all depends on who you talk to. I’m actually a big fan of a few of those. I also don’t lie to myself.