Well played. I basically came here to say this, but you did it better. “I swung at a pitch that bounced a foot off the plate, but you can totally trust me when I say that last pitch was a strike.”

In the end, it’s all details, as long as the Yankees lose. I’m an O’s fan, so I can’t believe I’m saying this, but let’s…

I worked in Cambodia for several years, where horror stories like this are common. The women (always women) are taken to and from work in actual cattle cars in Phnom Penh’s famously chaotic traffic, which leads to fatal accidents monthly. The lead photo in this story about five workers losing their arms in a collision …

I don’t follow the royal family, so I don’t know much about this young lady. I’ve never bothered to look to see why she would be viewed differently than — ah, right. Kate Middleton could strangle a puppy on Centre Court in the middle of a match at Wimbledon and the British press would praise her for her impishness and…

The Brits and their damned understatement. Don’t they see American news? It’s totally OK to be frothing-at-the-mouth racist now! Even fashionable! I’m surprised Trump hasn’t given her one of his witty nicknames. He’d probably just call her Sleepy, like he does everyone else.

“There are four types of people who join the military. For some it’s family trade. Others are patriots eager to serve. Next you have those who just need a job. Then there’s the kind who want the legal means of killing other people.”

I’d say she’s the greatest female athlete of all time and in the conversation for the greatest, period. She has redefined what the human body is capable of and dominated one of the most physically demanding sports for years, while most gymnasts tend to peak early and then give way to younger competitors. She’s done…

If I may rephrase your question, “How is food different than clothing?” Forgive me if you’re reading this while enjoying a juicy minkburger, or some sable kebabs.

Morals are the basis of what we humans call laws. It is immoral, for instance, to kill someone, or abuse a child, or not know how to use a dictionary.

If fur is illegal, we need to stop it at the source. The only possible way to do that is to kill all the animals in California. And post pictures with their corpses on Instagram. 

This is a perspicacious analysis, because Belichick has so many flaws as a coach, it’s easy to overlook his deficiencies at devising defensive game plans. Clearly they’ve been lucky this season... and in the Super Bowl when they nearly skunked a Rams team that scored over 500 points last season. Such a fraud.

Don’t be too hard on them. As a casual fan, I need experts in the booth who can tell me:
“That’s just a great catch by Beckham.”

I love the Emmitt Smith Rule. 

You’d better sit down for this. The Redskins won.

He took off his helmet on the field, so shouldn’t he have been flagged under the Emmitt Smith Rule? It would have made it even more perfect. To borrow a line from Airplane!, it was a bad week for Georgia sports fans to stop sniffing glue.

I understand Swinney’s displeasure. The fact that the kicker is an indentured servant is incidental.

I picture you pumping your fist with a hearty “fuck yeah!” when O’Brien finally breaks down Smith in 1984 and convinces him that 2+2=5.

You were doing ok until this: It’s not like he asked for the right to profit from his name, image and likeness.

Are Clemson fans decked out in the kicker’s jersey? If he had the right to profit from his likeness he would be making exactly as much as he is now. The fatal flaw in the “college athletes are slaves” sob…

Find a funnier comedy? How many would you like me to name? Everyone is entitled to her opinion, of course, but other reviews I’ve read say this is as funny as Schindler’s List. The trailer is nails-on-blackboard bad.

“You know, I think The Rolling Stones are still looking,” he added, which, what, “And, and I’m just lucky enough to have it out there right now, at the top of my career.”

Musicians are famous for being self-aware and ego-free.

When you watch a Home Run Derby, you aren’t there to see how these hitters would do in-game, you’re there to see how far they can hit a baseball and how many times they can do it in a row. A slam dunk contest isn’t to see who can dunk the most in a game, but who can expand what we even think of as possible in a dunk.