I like the genre where Senators are fed to various species of wild animals. That's not a genre? Oh, then it should be. 

Your church sounds like fun. 

I believe they're known as the Rutgers of the Big Ten. 

You are wrong. Better luck next time. Oh, and your grammar is abominable. 

Nobody thinks this except for Jordan/Kobe truthers and Knicks fans. 

The season is going exactly as expected. I'm giddy with schadenfreude. 

Give credit where it’s due. They didn’t screw up in 2011 or 2012.

Don’t bury the lede. Is San Juan beer made with bits of real panther. 60 percent of the time it gives you a hangover every time.

Who cares about this stupid sports fight

I don’t know the guy, but I’ve known guys with similar proclivities. He lives for this shit. He’ll be Wilsoning again soon enough.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict he won’t learn his lesson. 

This is both timely AND hilarious. 

He should be a pariah, and he should also be listed as one of the most overrated athletes of all time and a complete a-hole, to boot. The Kobe love absolutely baffles me. 

And the winner for most appropriate screen name goes to...!

I’ve been living and traveling overseas for more than 10 years. The world does not give a rat’s ass. Lighten up, Francis!

By the way, “soccer” is a British word.

You’re referring the candidate who won by three million votes, despite gerrymandering, voter suppression and the heavy hand of Uncle Vlad? 

The “blame on both sides” bit is sooooo 2017. We’re so focused on the rape allegations that we’ve plumb forgot about him lying under oath, or his horrifying legal opinions or, oh yeah, the way he was nominated, through a back-alley deal in which his mentor agreed to step down so that Trump could nominate him and thus…

I can explain this to you if you want. No, really. You see, the rationale is -- oh, I get it. You just need something to complain about. It really is pretty simple but... never mind. Carry on.

Look at the news. We live in a time where objectively bad people do objectively bad things for objectively bad reasons. So, yeah, we’ve got a long way to go.

How refreshing. A story about a diva wide receiver. You don’t see many of those. But wait, there’s more! He’s apparently a financial whiz as well!

Somebody explain to Clay Matthews and the other Neanderthals that this is why the league is trying so hard to protect quarterbacks. Andrew Luck was a generational talent at QB whose career has been wasted. The bottom line is star QBs put asses in seats and sell jerseys. People pay to see Aaron Rodgers, not <insert GB…