I’ve always had a crush on her. If I knew she was that desperate to get hitched I would have looked her up. Did he make that jacket out of a shower curtain?

And their marriage.

She’d be a tough out in baseball. Her strike zone is, like, 8 inches high.

<insert dick joke here>

This is way better than Clowney’s tackle. No one blocked him and the running back never saw him coming. Here they go gato a gato.

After my Colts literally snuck out of town I became a casual observer of the league. (I’m old.) Now I’m done with it.

Anatolia is “a place in Turkey where many immigrants are based"? Um... 

As a former newspaper journalist this drives me m-fing crazy. Sometimes there aren’t two sides to a story. Either you believe climate change is real, or you’re a fucking idiot. You’re not allowed to have an opinion on a demonstrable fact. If I said I firmly believe that Boise is the capital of the US, you would tell…

Let’s have a civilized debate, shall we?

Point: Experts in their respective fields have peer-reviewed research which shows links between A) football and CTE and B) global climate change and human activity.

Counterpoint: I’M GUNNA SHOOT U IN YOURE FUCKIN FACE YOU FUKIN LIBTARD FAGGOT

Discuss.

Let’s have a civilized debate, shall we?

Absolutely! He’s playing to the DERP DERP MAN’S GAME DERP DERP LIBRUL HOAX crowd because he’s one of them. 

You should avoid political news for a while.

It’s hard to believe that no one wanted a 78-year-old ball hog who doesn’t pass and refuses to play defense.

Dear All NBA Teams,

I too am willing to not play for $27.9 million. This figure is negotiable. I, too, do not play defense or pass. I look forward to speaking with you.

Sincerely,

The Clippers have Lob City. The Lakers have Paucity!

Dead on Arrival Lineup

White is an unrepentant asshole and a myopic businessman so I am going to choose to believe everything bad written about him.  

Dana White dressed up like a Russian hooker and peed on Donald Trump.

Rondo is a headcase who plays genius-level point guard from time to time. Stephenson is a head case who is a ferocious (read: irritating) defender. Beasley is a head case who... is a head case? Next they’re going to trade Kuzma and Ingram for Nick Young.

Nobody is saying that.