Let's be honest, if it was really like Heroin, it would be a lot harder to kick.

The pitcher can run away. And he's probably faster than you. You can't zig out of the way of a 100-mph fastball, at least not consistently. The pitcher would kill you within seconds.

Dodge SRT-4: You gave a neon 270ish hp?

He doesn't look like a thief. That guy on the right does, though.

The more important question here is who the hell decides to film lap 121 of a 400 lap race? Not the start...or finish...or some crash, but lap 121. Is this person filming the entire race? Do they then go back and re-watch the entire race film and be like "Yup, the turned left again!"? These questions must be…

Jeep Wrangler, hands down.

Why is he sticking his finger in her mouth when he says, "Whatever!" and then gazes up at the camera?

Your oldest kid is what, five? You think that qualifies you to write a memoir? That's like reading a nine year old's autobiography, right bros?

"You know what's an even better high? NOT having sex! Oh, and winning at Boggle!"

Not a novel per say, but this will always embody my traumatized childhood memories of Halloween campfires: www.amazon.com/Scary-Stories-Treasury-Alvin-Schwartz/dp/0060263415/ref=pd_sim_b_1