The Trump boys look like a failed cloning experiment done in jars that someone didn’t sanitize properly.

truth

The last time I was in the office, they told me about some of Marchman’s dipping habits and I was so upset I backed myself into a bookshelf and clung on for dear life. I have to go back today and I’m honestly scared for what they’ll do to me, this is hazing.

I assume Jake Gyllenhaal is busy?

Boy, are you in for a treat!

Babe Ruth ate and drank during baseball games, and nobody ever says he was soft.

Three Latvian are brag about sons. “My son is soldier. He have rape as many women as want,” say first Latvian. “Zo?” second say, “My son is farmer. He have all potato he want!” Third Latvian wait long time, then say, “My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over.” “Wow! You are win us,” say others. But all are…

Is scurvy an adjective? If not, I’m using it as one now!

he was snorting cocaine or meth or something in the toilet. that was not “road rage”, that was some drug-fueled paranoia and delerium.

I had an idea that they should offer medical procedures in flight, so that when you fly from ...say from Atlanta to London...by the time you land and wake up you’ve had your teeth cleaned, your annual gyno exam and a colonoscopy!

Found one! 166 to go.

This fish is extremely dead and your critique of “Asian countries” is borderline racist.

the 90s were a weird time man.

That’s what I like to think. Like a very elaborate “it’s not you it’s me, but actually my people so don’t be mad at me.”

No.

Madonna ain’t shit, and Pac knew that. She’s the Proto-Becky.

When I think of all the men and women who have died for our independence, laughter does not come to mind.

This was a nod to Kelly’s days at Brown, when he would attempt to score on unsuspecting coeds in true Lacrosse Fashion