What I think of every time I read an article health article like this:

1) Matching shoes and belt, socks matching with pants.
2) Hiding tattoos
3) No Socks and sandals
4) No white after Labor Day
5) No sweatpants outside the gym or home

Did you hear about the 4'2" tall mystic who got caught performing fake seances for grieving relatives and went on the run to escape fraud charges? The police put out an APB for a small medium at large.

Just wait a week or so. It’ll be back in one of those formats.

Especially when they take something that was an article a week or so ago and then turn it into a video. I don’t think this one was, but I’ve seen them do it before.

1) Use as meat tenderizer by mixing with dry rub
2) Use as fertilizer by mixing with organic matter like leaves or cut grass
3) Use as a deodorizer by putting in an open jar in a cabinet or fridge.

I went the small chest of drawers route. The vertical area taken up by spindly legs of table-style nightstands is wasted space that could be best utilized for extra storage. Plus the top is just about level with my bed, and is big enough for my clock, water, a box of tissues, and my lamp.

No With Honors? Not even honorable mention?

If you’re suspicious of your eggs you can always do the float test. Just put them in a bowl of water. If they float to the surface or bob between the top and the bottom, throw them out. If they stay at the bottom, even if they stand on end, they’re still good. 

I was expecting In the Cut to make the list. Meg Ryan’s jarring leap from Rom-Coms to erotic thriller opposite Mark Ruffalo definitely deserves mention.

I watched so you don’t have to:

“DID I FUCKING STUTTER?!”

Tried them once, wasn’t impressed. You need that inch or so of crunchy taco shell edge surrounding the greasy blob of filling. The tiny tacos throw that ratio off.

That’s the McDLT. The Arch Deluxe was supposed to be a more “grown up” burger with some fancy sauce and peppered bacon. It was delicious.

The most underrated fast food items were the ones that got discontinued. I really miss the double-decker taco from Taco Bell. Soft and crunchy in one package! And only slightly more calories than a regular taco, a clear advantage over the Cheesy Gordita Crunch, which is the next best thing. Also, why do they only…

I watched so you don’t have to:
1 month of expenses in checking minimum

I prefer the more classical approach, where you just shrug it off at the moment but then bide your time until they’ve completely forgotten about it, then get them drunk, lure them down to some catacombs with the promise of some premium booze, then chain them up in an alcove and brick it up.

She was the biggest non-entity of a FLOTUS ever to set foot in the White House. Her biggest impact was her ghastly Christmas designs and fucking up the Rose Garden. They had to desperately grope around for something for her to stand for, and you have to admire the twisted sense of humor of whatever aide decided it…

If there are other cars behind you in the parking lane, you are only allowed to wait for a space to become free if the current occupants are actively getting in their car and are actually about to leave. If they’re still in the process of loading their groceries into their car or are buckling their kids in and still…

1) “Went tits up”
2) “Playing Hide the Salami”
3) “Going to see a man about a horse”
4) “Alternate facts”
5) “Has a great personality”
6) “Riding the crimson wave”
7) “Manufacturing a tricycle engine”
8) “Takes the short bus to school”