I started keeping a journal after college because I missed actually writing something by hand.

Was all geared up to watch Brotherhood of the Wolf and it’s on fucking AMC+. January releases are trash.

We used to have chickens that had the run of the whole property. Instead of pale yellow, the egg yolks were such a deep orange they were almost red. They also made brutal cascarónes, as those shells were like concrete.

“But everybody else’s eggs are laid by hormone-free chickens.”
“No, everybody else’s eggs are high in cholesterol. Your eggs are laid by Hormone-Free chickens.”

The only time I am cooking pasta in the sauce is when I make lasagna. I don’t pre-cook the dry lasagna noodles, I just layer them in dry and let them cook in the oven with the rest of the ingredients. The sauce has already been watered down a bit (swished around a bit in the jar to get all the sauce out), so there’s…

Allow me to introduce you to Sluzzle Tag:

What, no mention of Zwarte Piet, the lovable Minstrel Show character from the Netherlands? No Dutch Christmas is complete without a debate about Maintaining Traditions and Heritage vs. The Evils of Blackface, much like how it just doesn’t feel like Christmas in the US until somebody talks about how rapey “Baby It’s…

What’s this about the Queen’s horrible anus?

The only way to truly get justice, it appears, is the slow-and-steady-and-nearly-impossible process of voting out shitty judges.

How is there no mandatory minimum sentence for sex crimes? They hand out prison time like candy for drug charges.

ftfy.

I’ve worked semi-seriously on Mechanical Turk for a few years now and have never had a problem, as far as payments go. The platform now lets you see how active the job providers are on the platform, as well as their submission approval rate. Most of the jobs I’ve worked on have been approved and paid within a day or…

My grandfather used to rave about my mom’s stuffing at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then they came over early one year while she was making it and found out it was StoveTop. StoveTop is good.

He also found out her gravy is basically Campbell’s Cream of Chicken Mushroom Soup and turkey drippings. And it is also good.

All you Anti-Cannies can take your grandmother’s home-made organic artisnal cranberry sauce made with love and a secret blend of spices and shove it up your asses. RIDGES FOREVER!!!

Once while eating something soft and chewy, I had a tooth basically disintegrate in my mouth. It had basically been held together by fillings and had finally just fallen apart. It took me a minute to figure out what happened, because it didn’t hurt. Moving my tongue across my teeth I just noticed something weird and…

I know he’s not really a monster, but what about The Thing? Is his dork made out of orange rock like the rest of his body?

Store-brand soda. No matter how much you their to make it taste like Coke, it doesn’t taste like Coke. And their attempts at a Dr. Pepper substitute? Laughable. If the Coca-Cola company can’t pull it off with that pitiful pretender Mr. Pibb, what makes grocery chains think they can?

They do at least taste better than…

Oreos are more successful because “Hydrox” sounds like the name of a dish detergent.

A lot of municipal water systems actually have more stringent purity standards than bottled water companies.