Oh, I do think they’re both bad. Except one of them  is much, much, worse, and it sucks that lawmakers are jumping up to make sure consumers can get their shiny electronic distractions at reasonable prices while doing absolutely nothing to ensure they are able to get the medications they need to live at…

What’s this about the Queen’s horrible anus?

Allowing grinch bots to rig prices and squeeze consumers during the holiday season hurts American families, small business owners, product makers and entrepreneurs,” said Tonko, in a statement related to the newest legislation. “We will not allow this market manipulation to go unchecked.”

The only way to truly get justice, it appears, is the slow-and-steady-and-nearly-impossible process of voting out shitty judges.

How is there no mandatory minimum sentence for sex crimes? They hand out prison time like candy for drug charges.

No, but these magic rocks I have will! Only $9.99 each.

ftfy.

I’m going to do something about my weight. I’m still going to eat fast food every day, but I will compensate by watching videos on nutrition and reading health blogs, and look real hard at the vegetables at the grocery store. That will solve the problem.

I’ve worked semi-seriously on Mechanical Turk for a few years now and have never had a problem, as far as payments go. The platform now lets you see how active the job providers are on the platform, as well as their submission approval rate. Most of the jobs I’ve worked on have been approved and paid within a day or…

“Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.”

My grandfather used to rave about my mom’s stuffing at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then they came over early one year while she was making it and found out it was StoveTop. StoveTop is good.

He also found out her gravy is basically Campbell’s Cream of Chicken Mushroom Soup and turkey drippings. And it is also good.

All you Anti-Cannies can take your grandmother’s home-made organic artisnal cranberry sauce made with love and a secret blend of spices and shove it up your asses. RIDGES FOREVER!!!

Once while eating something soft and chewy, I had a tooth basically disintegrate in my mouth. It had basically been held together by fillings and had finally just fallen apart. It took me a minute to figure out what happened, because it didn’t hurt. Moving my tongue across my teeth I just noticed something weird and…

I know he’s not really a monster, but what about The Thing? Is his dork made out of orange rock like the rest of his body?

Anti-vaxxers will still demand horse medicine.

Okay, okay, fine. I’ll watch it. Not convinced I’ll like it, but I’ll watch it.

Store-brand soda. No matter how much you their to make it taste like Coke, it doesn’t taste like Coke. And their attempts at a Dr. Pepper substitute? Laughable. If the Coca-Cola company can’t pull it off with that pitiful pretender Mr. Pibb, what makes grocery chains think they can?

They do at least taste better than…

Oreos are more successful because “Hydrox” sounds like the name of a dish detergent.

Okay, they lost me with that last final leap to the cargo hatch. 

Am I the only one getting sick of Chris Parnell voice-acting? Or just of him playing this type of character? I get the feeling Ed is going to be almost exactly like Cyril and Jerry. Could he maybe try some other character archetype? Or maybe try not sounding like himself, actually change his voice a little? I’m just…