Did you mean rim shot? 

Same thing happened to a guy driving a hybrid car. He suffered from prius-pism.

And while we’re on the subject of equality, have you noticed how most lab rats are white? What’s up with that?

I believe that all mice should have an equal opportunity to have electrodes implanted in their brain or human ears grown on their backs regardless of their sex.

.

A little black hair dye and a stencil will soon fix that!

Well, yeah, especially if you light a match in a flour mill.

Harder to? How about impossible to. Unless I’m getting a cut of the action.

Other mountain ranges should use pictures like that as tourist marketing. “Come climb Kilimanjaro! We have shorter lines!”

I won’t even go to a fast food place if there’s a huge line. Waiting in line for a possible frozen death and afterlife as a signpost doesn’t appeal to me at all.

Windows already does this. It inevitably chooses “When I’m in the middle of something.” or “When I’ve stepped away for ten minutes to use the bathroom.”

Even when I’m not actively using my computer, there is often something open that I would like to still be up instead of returning to find a login screen.

Turns out that the Iron Bank also underwrote and insurance policy for the entirety of King’s Landing against fire damage, as well as blanket life insurance policies on most of the smallfolk. It didn’t cover most common forms of peasant death, such as plague, starvation, or being being summarily executed for making eye …

How to end this movie in ten minutes:
“Oh no! Forky fell out of the RV! We must traverse through an amusement park and a creepy antiques shop to rescue him from ventriloquist dummies!”

“Hey, wait, is that a Walmart over there? Why don’t we just sneak in there and swipe a box of sporks, some pipe cleaners, pop-sickle…

I spotted a few tits.

Then there’s raining “like a cow pissing on a flat rock.” Not so much intensity as volume of the rain drops. The heavy, splattery sort of rain. The only way it could hit you harder would be if it was hailing.

I don’t even bother trying to count how many calories I burn. It’s too easy to use it as a license to overeat later. Unless you’re doing several hours of intensive Iron Man training or something every day and probably need to know if you need to eat more calories, you’re better off sticking to your diet plan and just…

If you quit a new job soon after starting it, why even put it on your resume at all if you’re afraid of looking like a job hopper?

Octarine. It’s sort of a greenish purple yellow color.

For all most Americans know about the Battle of Puebla, they may as well just call it Mexican St. Patrick’s Day.

What? No Real Genius video clips yet? Seriously, guys, do I have to do everything?