Trump openly said “I love the uneducated.” They weren’t listening.

I also like, “And that’s relevant because...?”

I’ve got this theory that inside, Kellyanne really, really hates her job and wishes Trump would just die already, but she’s one of those people that, like it or not, says “This is my job and I’m going to fucking give it my all”, and so she and her husband concocted this whole dynamic, with her being Trump’s rah-rah…

Jesus-fucking-Christ-on-a-stick, what the hell?!

Straight into a pit of despair.

Earthquakes are the result of an underground war? 

I was always under the impression that it is better to wear a bit more clothes when flying because airplanes are so freakin’ cold. I shiver just from seeing someone dressed like her (and she looks perfectly fine, especially since she’s flying from Jamaica to Miami).

You can almost pinpoint to the minute when his meds have worn off and his next dose hasn’t kicked in yet. When the rants go on for hours, you know he hasn’t taken it at all.

They were all trippy, but those blonds just made my eyes and brain whimper a little.

And I wouldn’t say that RATT or Whitesnake sang many “death-soaked lyrics”. They were pretty bland, singing an awful lot about how love would find a way and being loners on the road. 

We would hear the sounds of heads exploding all over the Bible belt as they tried to figure a way out of that one.

Nuh-uh.

The source material also said that every step would be agony and as if she was walking on knives.

That’s only if you assume that merpeople are mammals. Since they live and breath underwater, I think it’s pretty clear that they aren’t mammals.

I’d rather watch a test pattern than Gilligan’s Island.

Actually....fish sticks dipped in a good mayo are kind of tasty.

Princess Peach begs to differ.

And ANYTHING but Trump’s health. If he dies while in office it will make him a martyr to his supporters.

A narrow loss for a Darwin Award nominee.