I was thinking along these lines, but I would bet a million dollars that there’ll be more protesters than invitees.

This is in no way a comment against people with disabilities, and I apologize PROFUSELY to ANYONE who is offended (with the exception of JudgementKazzy - you misspelled “judgment”, BTW) but you must be either blind, deaf or dumb to actually consider Trump again.

I know they’re short-term fixes, but this can keep you relatively comfortable for awhile:

Oh, geez. You lost your head trying too hard.

“Goddamn it, there’s someone in my spot again!”

Those are some really awful things to say about a kid.

Plenty of them do:

My in-laws live around the corner from one of those houses in Fargo. They made a point of driving us around to look at it when we visited some years ago. The neighborhood is a placid, lower-middle income kind of place, with sensible houses laid out in sensible grids with sensible yards and sensible aesthetics.

Still my favorite Stephen King novel.

I had a friend who classified tough, sexy men as “knuckle-biters”, as in, you see them and bite your knuckles to prevent yourself from swooning at their feet.

No, but once a year we have a “Funny Hats” contest. Winner gets a bottle of wine. Anyone who forgets gets locked in a room with a DVD set and has to watch one episode.

I fucking HATE those.

Maybe for you they’re too hard to draw...but every little girl who ever idolized horses usually got pretty good at drawing them because that was pretty much all they drew.

I got it.

Yesyesyesyes. I love my power naps. Whatever job I’ve had, I’ve tried to find a way/place/time for a nap. Half the time it was in my car.

Holy fuck, what is the matter with you? Do you think buildings and property just maintain themselves? If you live in an apartment building, do you do all the repair work yourself, or do you think little elves come out at night and magically keep the place livable?

I have to admit hearing a story in one office building I worked in that, to this day, makes me shudder. People can be unbelievably gross.

I have lost my shit over someone walking off with my favorite pen, so if it was my chair, I would quite possibly have to be restrained.

I have a friend who is a die-hard Apple fan. He always had a Mac, and when I would talk about firewalls and antivirus and other security issues, his go-to was always, “Macs don’t get viruses.”

To a serious cyclist, there’s a huge difference between a $2500 Cannondale and an $80 Roadmaster.