I wish I could believe in god, just so I knew someone would ultimately slap her in the face.

“I’m sorry you caught me.”

Yet another “I wish I had not gotten called out for my actions. I was under the impression as a well-to-do white male I could do whatever I wanted.”

Dora Milaje School of Wish-a-Motherfucker-Would

I’m more than a little annoyed that this is the issue she thinks most of the people who voted for her give a shit about.

“A simple hat ban made by a bunch of white dudes 200 years ago is effectively preventing Omar from doing her job while exercising her faith.”

I've said this before, but I want that too, only with the addition of nurses who are paid to act as if they have no idea who he is and everyone has forgotten he ever existed, let alone once held the highest office in the land. “Trump? Never heard of you. You were president? Of what? Now roll over.” His greatest fear…

I want him to have a massive stroke and be bedridden and unable to communicate for years while he has to watch as his asshole children bicker endlessly and make terrible decisions on his behalf. “No, I get the gold bedpan!” “He likes me best, I should get it!”

America, just because we let one or even two people from a family get famous, that DOES NOT mean we need to let the rest of their family slip past the gates and be famous, too!

Not only was she born into wealth, she was born to someone who was an incredibly successful businesswoman, with parents and siblings with a shit ton of connections to the business, fashion, and beauty world. Literally everything she needed in order to make her business a success, she had. What would be incredible…

I’m trying to explain why I'm laughing at “twerk technician” to a non-native English speaker and all it’s doing is making me look like a crazy American.

I am going to guess from a bear, that she fights daily to milk for her fermented bear milk.

Hey, when you write a review that contains plot twists and spoilers, can you please put that at the top? I don’t expect all reviews to give away the plot, so I was merrily reading along and - ploink - there was a major plot twist reveal. Please spare others the same disappointment and put a spoiler alert up at the…

What’s your favorite insult? My favorite is “You’re a joke.” I’ve only actually deployed this while having a raging argument with someone in my head while showering, but I feel like it’s pretty good.

I would serve this at my wedding. I love cheese. So much.

Jason Momoa’s Aquaman is absolutely my preferred fish man fuck, but I would definitely do The Shape of Water fish man because life is short and I am not afraid of my inner monster fucker.

The cat-eating is a deal breaker.

Donald Trump’s library is going to be a fucking KFC drive-thru.

Oof. Betty Ford, you’re gonna need a hospital in addition to the addiction treatment center.

At the risk of keeping myself grey for all eternity, Beyonce really isn’t as great as everyone thinks she is. I’m always here for POC getting their check, but she’s not the be(y)-all and end-all.