Sounds like a dumb lawsuit, but that headline is hilarious and makes up for the shitty ones earlier today.

I'm well acquainted with the Mayor of Pussytown.

I'm not upvoting because you didn't commit to the bit hard enough. You can't just add a "z" to the end of all the other words and not Sundayz.

I torrented that. Wasn't worth the effort.

I agree with all of that. (Except for the crush part. He's a handsome man, but not really my type because of the penis thing.)

That OJ show? I dunno, I don't really care for Travolta.

I've never heard of any of those shows. Good for them, I guess? I dunno, maybe it'll work in the summer when there's less competition.

Awesome! I had no idea. That's a very prestigious and talented cast. That and Blood Father both look great.

Besides, this is the (real) Newtown song anyway:

I'm not judging. I'm just pointing out that I was (deservedly) tarred and feathered the other day for much less than this.

"It's a good thing you're not a big fat guy or this would be really difficult."

I think Coldplay should be president.

I prefer the depressive Vampire Weekend songs. Some of their upbeat songs are a little too twee for my tastes. My favorite, though, is this alternate mix of "Walcott."

The real danger is selfies with sharks. That's how they get ya.

My spinach puffs!

"I've got four flavors — chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and fuck you, punk."

Orwellian1984 is literally the single most misanthropic teenage white male Libertarian username imaginable. I'd bet my dick and balls that guy has a shelf full of scratched up Tool CDs.

He also gave one of the best performances in a Disney animated film. The Emperor's New Groove is the funniest movie in the canon.

I believe it. They do share similar views of guns.

JIMMY PLAN