It’s the way it is. If you don’t want to tip, or leave shitty tips, stay home. Or at the very least, thank the other customers who do tip for making an environment possible where people are willing to wait tables. Those customers made your dining experience possible.

I’ve been to a Dave Matthews concert and I am not surprised they could produce that much shit that quickly

A couple of years ago I made beef Wellington for Christmas dinner. I couldn’t get any foie gras, so I made a compound butter with potted meat, and used that instead. I figured that as essentially meat-flavored fat, it could at least serve the same purpose in the Wellington. As far as I could tell, it worked out fine.

Thought the headline read “crapping out”.

At least he still has his looks.

This One Simple Trick to Tell if a Restaurant is Any Good:

It’s funny because I hope he fucking dies.

Wait what because they tested a single ingredient on an animal it can’t be called Vegan?!? It tested the mung bean protein on an animal, testing mind you that is in NO way dangerous or harmful to the animal in any way.

You’re smuggling coffee?

Mariah Carrey hasn’t been A-list in many, many years.

I also treat my chronic diarrhea with meat.

Pepto Bismayo.

TIL what boak is. 

*rubs temples in aggressive fashion*

Upgrade.

“I ordered the Margherita pizza and there was no lime on it to speak of. Also, it had tomatoes and cheese. Everyone knows nightshades are poisonous and I am lactose intolerant. One star.”

Good lord, why do people suck so much?

I had one of these and it worked great. Having separate controls for the top and bottom insures pizzas come out perfect every time. Unfortunately, it was the last thing I put in the truck when I moved, and the first thing to fall out the door when I opened it.

I’m just going to come out and say it:

I really don’t understand this marketing campaign for The Flash.

I think that would probably attract too much regulatory attention, more than most Ponzi schemes like to attract, at least.