Dennis, can you tell us about your attempt to carbonise sashimi?.....

He originally had a much larger role in C.H.U.D., but when Roger Corman’s New World Pictures bought the rights they cut out about twelve minutes and rearranged some scenes. Goodman’s cop and his partner largely featured in the excised footage.

Same distance as between cooking vodka and cleaning vodka. And bathing vodka. And chuggin’ vodka.

Kate Bernot would have loved this story.....

Another beyond fucking stupid idea created by social media morons for even more gullible social media morons.

‘What’s actually in your butter container right n0w.....?’

I’ve got one of those combination tools which has a quite efficient tin opener as one of the elements. I’d be pissed off if I were in this situation and leapt into action with my tool in my hand, as it were, to open any tins any other drivers had, only to find they were ring-pulls....

There is a rough ‘rule of three’ with human needs. The very general guidelines are you can go three minutes without oxygen, three days without water, and three weeks without food, as long as you have water. Never been tempted to try any of these out, though. 

As your Mum looks into an untouched tin of cookies and wonders where her sewing kit has gone?

Damn.... now I want a saveloy.... And since the local fish and chip shop closed and turned into a bike shop (?) I’ve no idea where I’d find them locally.

Drew Magery’s ultimate nightmare...

Thanks, but I think I’ll stick with this form of Monkfish....

Had it been in the US she’d have been on the end of another sort of Magnum.

New Furry Toy!

‘And joining the fun will be some serious action heavy-hitters’ Very good, I noticed what you did there. As a reward you may have precisely eight jelly beans from the jar.

Name checks out.

Saw this at the London Film Festival and I think you’re being rather kind. Riz Ahmed is simply awful here, the kids are purely plot conduits and Octavia Spencer just looks completely tuned out for the entire film, but the whole script seems to be just a cut-and-paste assembly, without the guts to take it into the…

Can’t be a Nicholas Sparks story, nobody dies of cancer.

World’s Greatest Dad is a terrific movie, but unfortunately the combination of that title, Robin Williams and a terrible marketing campaign had it lumped in with Williams’ hideous schmaltz-fests rather than the complex, very dark work it actually is.

How is it possible to rack up such a bill at Taco Bell? Hookers and blow!!