Anthony Weiner not being dead in a ditch or renditioned to a black site in Yemen is proof that Hillary ain’t killed nobody.

Ummm no. Not really.

Do you remember when TLC, History, and the Discovery channel were full of educational programming?

Pepperidge Farm Remembers.

Someone needs to invent an interdimensional portal right fucking now, so we can go through the breach to Earth-3 or wherever Hillary won, murder our doppelgangers there, and take their place in a world where hope still exists.

If somebody woke me up right now and said “you’re awake! Do you remember the accident? You’ve been asleep for three months and it’s May of 2015!” I’d be like “that actually makes sense.”

On the bright side we can now say with absolute certainty that we’re not all stuck in some Matrix style simulation... The robots controlling us would never program something this absurd into the system

Sober up? With how many days left until trump gets sworn in?

I was in a coma for weeks once. It’s much better than this.

There have been so many people saying they’ve kept having dreams of alternate universes where everything is fine that I’m seriously beginning to consider the idea that greenhouse gases have caused us to mass-hallucinate.

Messy is being generous. This is an all out attack on the integrity of our country. It was a sloppy magic trick, but the trick itself is what is concerning.

I made this the other night because fuck this guy

I know. Do you ever listen to him speak and think, “Well I must be dead and/or in the Twilight Zone because there is no way in hell this can be real.”

So we’re really gonna do this, huh? This is actually happening? And how do I know I’m not in a coma somewhere hallucinating all this?

“At the end of 8 years”. Oh go fuck yourself

He has the mental capacity of a 5-year-old

This is a thing! A guy at Target (a complete stranger) tried to give me shit once for buying tampons. Who does that? Why did he do that? What was his end goal? Did he think I’d drop the box of tampons and run out of the store? I didn’t get it then and I still don’t get it.

fragile masculinity gonna fragile

Ditto. Just like the increased presence of that trashbox Mama Joyce got me off RHOA.

Rick Perry.

““Having discussed that issue at some length, that does not sound like something I said or intended to say,” Sessions replied.”

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK