There are people who think masturbation in a relationship constitutes cheating. Most of us refer to those people as "complete fucking lunatics."

Or anywhere other than the goddamn towel rack. Every. Fucking. Day.

Or not putting a NEW FUCKING TRASHBAG in the trash can after taking out the trash.

"Save your protest energy for more important matters, like wet towels on the bed."

It's to show you're into leeching.

No one should wear capris.

assholes like you are why the highway fucking sucks. "Oh I can handle it, I'm a good driver" nearly got me killed on the highway cause 2 assholes in ricers decided flying through traffic at 80+ when everyone else was doing 30. Fuck you and fuck everyone that thinks like you. You wanna race? Go to a fucking track and…

Someone with the talent to drive that fast knows it is stupid to do so on PUBLIC roads. There is a reason there are tracks. If you can afford a Lamborghini, you can afford track time. All the talent in the world can't control other drivers who may switch lanes in front of you because you're coming so fast they don't…

208 on a public road, albeit a damn nice public road, and you say it's the talent?

I can't tell if you are being serious. If you are, you need to just completely recalibrate your thoughts. This guy wasn't going 100. He was going 208 miles per hour. Lack of talent? Really? Going 208 on a public road isn't inherently dangerous?

The opera this ain't

It's actually based on this report from a Forbes "contributor," which is incredibly bad and dumb. I'm fairly certain anybody can post anything directly to Forbes.com these days; it's like Kinja that people actually use.

I have to wear something on the lower half of my body when I come into work. Can't freeball it. That's about it.

My boss has never sent me an email detailing what color my nail polish needs to be or the length I ought to trim my pubes.

Navigating early adulthood is hard. I can't help but think that what is described in that email would only make it harder.

I love broccoli. Hands-down my favorite vegetable. Goes with everything, soaks up sauces like a champ, and my children will eat it no matter what. There are times I crave it because it is that damned good. My sister too—we have had multiple conversations about our broccoli love and we cannot understand why others…

Team Broccoli

As for water, fish fuck in it.

(1) Almost anything tastes good if you put enough butter and/or cheese on it.

Broccoli is amazing, and goes in almost anything you want to make. Stirfry? Sure! Curry? Why not? Cheese sauce, pasta, grilled, roasted, steamed- it's the perfect vegetable.