Better lob a “sympathiser” in there, just to be safe…

If it was like an “old-timey English factory”, then it would be be deserted, boarded up, half-demolished and surrounded by billboards announcing a mobile-phone call centre opening 2015!

I think you meant…

But you’re completely missing the point of private contractors…

Can’t imagine why I thought I’d never need this a second time!

They’re investing the savings in mineshafts, just in case…

21 of them, to be precise…

All hail the Slapheads of the Apocalypse…

I thought it was sorry about their small penis?

Trimming it down to a Stallone-free movie would probably have worked too…

Didn’t they already make a film about his battles?

Somewhere in North Dakota, a Minuteman is currently having it’s targeting co-ordinates “accidentally” changed to 41.7799N 87.5805W! Just in case…

Ummm…

You’re taking a lot on faith there! As “Fat Ronaldo” could tell you, there can be strange and unexpected additional parts lurking under any Brazilian model…

They just need to check the stationary cupboard and make sure he hasn’t managed to undo the straitjacket… AGAIN!

But the Nigerian Prince he’s selling it on behalf of seems completely legit…

Or to rephrase your question, “Is your name Jason Torchinsky?”

You think the Golfer-In-Chief has that much class?

No worries… Ass Monkey will have it rebuilt in 14 days! I mean they’ve done one already, so how hard can it be?

By Presidential decree, shouldn’t she be slathered in ketchup?