1) Unfriend.

Just unfriend him. It's not like they get a notification saying it's happened, he likely won't even notice. I go through purges of my friends list every year or so and have received 0 complaints.

I'm watch x-files on netflix. Is that weird? It's like 20 years since it's been popular. In my defense though, I'm 20.

Dave Grohl isn't quoted at all in the story, it's all Courtney. I don't really trust only her word.

I don't know if that's gonna get you that Pony, but give it a shot.

Is it bad that that Santa could totally get it? Because he could. Totally

Or you could just open the Tinder app and put your phone in front of paper cat. It will save you the trip to Radio Shack.

ADDITIONALLY:

You know, Christopher, you can say "no" to a project.

David Roth is a co-founder and editor of The Classical.

My favorite part is that either everyone on the pitch automatically knows how to handle goats, or that they all just followed the lead of the initial horn-grabber.

It takes a while for their attempts to Pan out.

This is great.

Aren't they protesting Cutler

They're protesting the Blazers taking Sam Bowie over Jordan and Greg Oden over Durant.

For years, I've been haunted by this vague recollection that, back in the peak Rush Limbaugh mania period ('92-'94, when he was guest hosting late night talk shows and actually taken seriously as a voice on issues and such, not just a rambling Percocet-riddled serial divorcee), that Rush went on Letterman and talked…

When the cops are trying to arrest you, if you fight back, things go wrong.

I've been banned by the food and the True Stories guy – banned, not demoted! – that I just don't even get attached or put much effort into my Burner names anymore. At least Laymon is earnest; I think Pinkham knows how much he sucks/is a moron but, like the Jezebel writers of late, won't climb down even when he is…

Literally ANYONE who has ever rapped on Epic Rap Battles of History.

I keep wondering about his family- what his wife and children must be thinking. Also, what his former co-stars must be thinking. WHAT DOES OPRAH HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THIS?