Rush Limbaugh's response:

Poor little girl. Poor everyone.

Cary Grant, who's first wife claims that he hit her?

OMG the part where the kids are singing and Spanish and they go "I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM AND WHERE HE GOES I'LL FOLLOW!" just fucking murdered me! I'm dead now that was so funny!

YOURE THE BEST PERSON ON EARTH RIGHT NOW

This will be my Thanksgiving movie!

I feel like this is the "I am Spartacus!" thread for people who liked John Carter, so: I liked John Carter, too!

And don't even get me started on all the sites that have failed to deliver on their promise that "dozens of horny housewives in [my] area need immediate love."

Heh I loved it too, and defend it as well. I mean we forgave Ben Affleck for legitimately bad movie Gigli.

Meanwhile, George Zimmerman is out waving his gun around the streets. Darren Wilson will likely walk without any repercussions, too.

No, I know a lot of people who really enjoyed it, myself included. It bombed because Disney's marketing for it was atrocious.

It was a bad year for Taylor with Battleship (which was as bad as you thought it'd be) and the bombing of John Carter. He is pretty though.

it was bad, but his acting was even worse.

Taylor Kitsch too, presumably as part of his years-long effort to bury John Carter of Mars deep in the sands of, uh, Mars.

I didn't hate it, but it bombed so hard it left a moon-sized crater.

Yessssss

I need this and I need to make all the children I can find watch it.

"Well, maybe I will come to your country then. And eat all of your bread!"