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Yes! I spent so much [allowance/chore money/report card bribes] to buy that.
It was one of the few toy I bought that I didn't immediately regret. It was good, oldschool, "put your eye out" style projectiles.

It's generally reckless to throw out allegations or doubts on such sensitive situations before you have all the information.

Also, I read somewhere that Doug Gottlieb was definitely a child molester. He definitely rapes pre-schoolers.

-former marching band member

Recommended addition: Protective Helmet.

One witness who viewed the security tape of the incident told us the punch was an "uppercut,"while another said he hit Palmer "like he punched a guy."

But, fuck facts, amiright? Go Ravens!

Someone just realized that "Amazon Ashley" has a dick.

Hmm....sudden outburst of power from a teammate of Ryan Braun. I'm sure nothing suspicious is going on.

You know how well Tuesday night games sell in every city.

Yeah, the whole "Just a kid from Akron" is pretty ridiculous.
I know it's a PR ploy to make him seem relatable and an underdog, but every time I see that all I can picture is that phone commercial of richest athlete in America Lebron by the pool of his Florida mansion and it feels silly.

Take that Putin! Your plan to breed a legion of Russian super-athletes failed.

I thought this sounded like a nice story, but there is something about the note/card.
For some reason, I find it really obnoxious.

I preferred the American version.

What football is he watching in July? XFL?

It's comedy gold if you're 14 years old.

By your positive attitude about his unfunny jokes, I'm guessing you don't have a very good sense of humor.

We'll revisit this after another 11 Gold Gloves, in the meantime i'm sure you've a fascinating theory on why Derek Rose is better than Jordan.

Hi, I'd like to have a quick word with you.

The problem is that nobody actually understands socialism because socialism and communism is used as shorthand for "anything I politically disagree with". It's McCarthyist boogie man tactics that stop any productive conversations.

go home, stoner. You're too high for the internet.