Watch more games, less Gatorade commercials.
This guy may be the best defensive player in baseball.

"no-man's land in shallow left field"
When Morse is playing, the entire field is no-man's land. You'd be better off defensively to put a pitching backstop out there.

I assume he regurgitated the two most famous modern presidents.
Fun Fact: you can't successfully take the stance of intellectual superiority when it precedes "fucktard"

So the wise part of your name is ironic?

Exactly. I always think of that Seinfeld, where Elaine explains that male parts are more function and less "for show", and I just assume that people only want to see my penis in sexual situations....and not say, over brunch.

1. Johnny Manziel

I assume since 80% of their fans joined the bandwagon in the last year, there is a high demand for jerseys.

It looks like harmless fun, but we won't know for sure until we get Brian McCann's approval.

I think that certain guy is always the "exception to the rule" on anything.

I want the MTV Rock N' Jock 25-point basket. Games would be much more fun to watch.

Look it up, kids.

Quickly, someone get this man off the cross!

I'm pretty sure the floor will be about 6 feet higher than both of them before they reach the age of 30.

I'm just happy to see the Rangers play a game that they can win.

I can't follow this. "Screen grabs" are where it's at.

At least he'll finally be compared to Michael Jordan.

I don't think God is on twitter.

wow. it's tough to be the worst troll on deadspin, but you did it.