Where do I sign up?

Guillotine should be the only method — everything else is crazy.

*shouts from the back of the auditorium in a wicked southie accent*

“What if you use deflated footballs?”

In fairness, Shinsuke asked beforehand if the dog bites. The police officer responded: “sorry, no speak English.”

Oh come on, that’s totally unfair.  The U.S. is only on that list because of our systematic devaluation of women, which allows (some would argue encourages) U.S. citizens to impart violence upon women.  Totally political.

Serena is the GOAT of GOATS.  Easily the most dominant career.

“Meanwhile you yourself are left with a hand that smells like [piss].”

“Small price to pay for the smiting of one’s enemies.”

Kevin Smith thought of everything.

It’s offensive to Eugene, who is significantly less of an asshole than Suckabee.  

Koko is with All Ball now! Love is eternal.

Lukewarm take, she should sue, bankrupt the team, and rid the MLB of the shitstain that is the Phillie’s fandom. Sincerely, An unbearable Sawx fan.

It sucks that Fallon wasn’t harder on Trump, but the list of people who weren’t harder on Trump is very long, and some of them are way more serious and deserving of scorn (looking at you Colbert).  His apology sucked, sure.

“There is no deal to make with people like this, because there is no limit to what they want.” Simple, elegant.

Also - his very premise is bullshit. I’m 31, still have trouble getting those things done outside of work time. Additionally, the Manager, Director, and VP in my department (all real adults with kids and all that jazz) have all freely admitted to doing the same (using some personal time to get that done).

God, they just won’t take her word for it. “This was different, this was bad.”

Off with her head.

“There’s no ‘i’ in Teamocil, at least not where you think.”

Irish Chilaquiles.

“ ‘The kind of language expressed in the tweets, even in an allegedly joking manner, is reckless and irresponsible. It potentially puts at risk those who have taken an oath to uphold the law and protect public safety,’ she said.”

“FUCK YOU!,” we said.

My elitist small liberal arts college’s dining hall did blueberry pan sauce on tofu in the vegan bar with some regularity. I was in my “too-cool-for-tofu” stage at the time, but I remember it being delicious.

Not just are they “a” condom, they are “the condom” in a lot of porn shoots. Skin toned (well... white skin toned), thin, strong, and cheap.