MY GOD IT SPLIT IN HALF

I have read the book. Like other reincarnation stories, of course it is not just about a dog dying over and over again. It’s about the various lives he lives and the bond between humans and dogs. So weird that people are freaking out like this.

The password to his Twitter account.

If there was any justice in this world, it would have been Trump’s tax returns in that box.

I just... Does Rick Perry not have access to Google? Does his internet not have Wikipedia or energy.gov? Did he not take 2 minutes to Google “Secretary of Energy” and “Department of Energy” before he agreed to take that job and lead that department? I truly, truly do not understand why someone would accept a cabinet…

Like, I wanna be like, “LULZ, funny, you get a star,” but I actually just have a pit in my stomach now. (You still get the star, tho)

He’s not the only Republican just finding out what his job entails....

He wants to be president but he doesn’t want to do president.

I am honestly expecting Trump to fly out of Washington and back to Trump Tower the night of the Inauguration.

It’s simple: this fool doesn’t want to be President. He thought he could get some free PR for his shitty products and hotels. He never thought people would be dumb enough to buy into this. Hopefully, he turns into Howard Hughes from all the stress.

Anyway, we know where this is going: Someone is going to have to lure Donald Trump out of Trump Tower with a six-foot portrait of himself and force him to be president.

No. The abortion industry collects dismembered toddler parts they fuse together using black, feminist sorcery into a giant, evil, Voltron baby which will crawl across the land eating Christians as if they were Gerber’s stewed carrots.

They terminated the march when the weather didn’t make it viable any longer.

Super cursed now. You wanna put a cursed key in your front door? BAM YOUR HOUSE JUST BURNT DOWN FRIEND

Thoughts and prayers upvote sequence initiated.

Jesus, my family and I flew out of that airport just a few days before. It never even occurred to me the timing of the poor people who were going through security at the time. Christ, what a nightmare on TOP of being in a terrifying situation.

Really well, five people were killed handily!

This is the payoff on the long con of typewriter inventor Jerry Qwerty.

I’m not a vegan, but I think it’s pointless and anti-Vegan to try and make veggies look and taste like meat. If you miss meat that much, then why be a Vegan?