Friends, I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I am now selling tickets for S’morez Fe$t. For the low, low price of $100 you can eat a Lucky Charms marshmallow while listening to Spotify in my backyard. Bug repellant for the mosquitos is just $19.99 extra. My Instagram has a picture of my cat giving…

Hold up. That woman is not my FLOTUS.

Trump: “So I heard this one story, and it now applies to all 11 million immigrants!”

He thinks health insurance is life insurance.

I would vote for your cat in a heartbeat. She has more personality than the entire Trump clan put together.

Maybe her vagine was, in fact, not platinum.

He is our manspreader-in-chief. Apparently his balls are too massive for him to sit like a normal person.

Meanwhile the Petty Brigade is L-i-v-i-n!

it is literally the Pope’s job to love everyone and even he can’t bring himself to tolerate DJT lmao

Eh. She was trying to fleece Donald Trump. It hasn’t been successful. I have sympathy.

I understand that it was a fairly innocuous ceremony to open an anti-extremism centre, so it is supposed to be a globe.

Bahamas restaurant owner MaryAnn Rolle, for example, has not been paid the $134,000 she is owed after catering meals to the festival crew. “I’m struggling,” she told the New York Times. “It’s embarrassing.”

She was just practicing for Fruit Ninja. She gets the Oranges every time.

Because she is a horrible, gold-digger - but enjoys being bein wealthy more than having dignity or self-respect?

She is a terrible person who just happens to be married to an even more terrible person.

LMFAO oh my shit. In the same way I had kiiiiind of been joking about Trump’s inability to read, I was kiiiind of joking when I said “lol Melania hates him” but... holy fuck, Melania haaaaaaaates him. This is the most delicious calorie-free breakfast I’ve ever had.

I also laughed when they said the WH staff turned up the TVs real loud so reporters couldn’t hear the screaming. It’s got to be so frustrating for the staffers to try spin this and cover up and then Trump decides to tweet or do an interview and says exactly what we all already know he did. The scariest part is he…

At this point, after what we witnessed the last week, simply agreeing to serve in this administration is a near disqualifying factor in your fitness to serve in whatever post you have been tapped for. I don’t see how any person can view what the president did to Rosenstein and McMaster, both previously highly…

And once again, my father, who, as I have said before on other posts, predicted Trump’s nomination, win, and Russian connections (“there are too many Russians in this campaign”), was right - he also predicted that Trump would blab top secret information to either reporters or foreign countries. He’s been right about…

When I was in my 2o’s, I had a cute butt, perky tits and tiny waist. (But no silicone tits right under my chin.) Now I’m almost 67. After two pregnancies and a hard bout with breast cancer 18 year ago, I have a saggy ass, thick waist, poochy tummy and lopsided boobs. I still go to the gym to increase my muscle mass,…