That's the thing about Brooks. He starts out with something obvious and self-evident, then reassembles it into the exact opposite of a reasonable conclusion.

We got a tea-for-one set.

That right there is an excellent tagline.

Best wishes to you.

I am not sure “the eBay of prophecy” is what one would want to be were I Mr Strandberg. You’re either “the Five Thirty Eight of prophecy” or you go home.

THERE IS NO HAND

I am having a thermos monogrammed for her as we speak.

Best solution.

I'm really sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace.

I am experiencing a struggle in my heart between utter despondency and red-haze rage. Which will win?

I think this is such an important point and shouldn't be overlooked.

That sounds like Peckville for sure.

There are hardly any words in any language as good as "cwch."

My in-laws (from Germany) do this — it seemed like something they picked up when my father-in-law started his own company and dealt mostly with Danish customers. Extremely disconcerting until you get used to it!

You save bread.

Let's just pretend I stood up to applaud this. But I don't really feel like standing up just now because that looks funny at work.

Oh, this. This a thousand times.

Ladies, gentlemen, and others, I give you the magnificent Jim Cooke.

Stand up straight for heaven's sake.

It's also the location of one of the great American plays, Larry Shue's THE NERD.