Shade Court is the only reason I am still conscious past noon on Fridays.

Famous for both the murders of Goodman, Chaney, and Schwerner, as well as the launch of Ronald Reagan’s presidential campaign. And if you think those things aren’t related, you’re wrong. The location was such a standout when I read this too.

I was at a bar not-watching this, but that was the exact moment I put down my phone and paid attention.

Oh my god. For years I have thought that they were saying “FUTBÓL!” and thought it was completely charming.

Put me immediately in mind of:

Let's high five!

The world needs more Leslie Knopes!

The Bush girls had their security details take them to bars where they were served illegally. (At least Jenna did; can't remember whether Not-Jenna was present.)

I ain't even mad at you. That would have been me.

This is the best one. No further contenders:

Hummels: repping Team Iliac Crest.

Bless you.

BRB going to go divorce and remarry my husband

Pretty sure that the percentage of cookie dough tubes that actually get made into baked cookies is around 10.

Jesus wept. I'm sorry.

As a mother, my heart was bursting for you as I read this. So proud.

And we get a full year and a half of it. Please, please be real.

Needs an option for a larger star.

Oh this photo. So good. I am full on cackling.

To me that is the scary thing. He has had such ridiculous amounts of success with this. He's another Reagan, but without the charm.