The Chmura jersey wasn't available?

More coming soon on this, obviously.

Lame

IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME

Three.

So, you're so socially retarded that even talking on the phone is an issue now?

I worked as an assistant in the sales department of a hotel - a job in which I manned the sales managers' phones when they were down on the event floor giving tours or overseeing a current event.

Whoa. I have to say my sympathies are entirely with the server in this story.

That's it, I'm not letting my kid join the Dolphin Scouts.

"You haven't heard our side of the story yet," responded a Dolphins spokesperson, "we really fucking hate people with cystic fibrosis."

I used to be a basketball player like you, and then I took a knee to the head.

don't misunderestimate the constitution

"...and I would still gladly suck them dry."

Did you see that he wore a #stivianomask to the presser.

I don't have a problem with houses exploding per se, but on live television? What am I supposed to tell my kids?

They should make a movie about the Browns draft!!

Such bullshit. And nearly identical to a problem I'm having at my job, where I maintain that I'm the Assistant Manager, but the grumpy old boss insists that I'm actually someone he's never seen before, and security insists that I leave the premises of Sam's Club immediately.

Jacking off is a lot like becoming a Naval officer: you work your unit until you're stiff, and eventually you'll get a bunch of seamen on your hands