You know what they say about PED testing: if you get caught, lie like the Dickens.

Still a remarkably better command of metaphors than Bob McNair.

Give the guy credit for being a quick learner.

“Play”

Same conclusion the Norwegian dude came to earlier.

Fuck, now Roy Moore is going to run for Senator of Montana, too.

Are you the Designated Survivor while the rest of the Deadspin staff is at the award ceremony?

That’s a shame, the booster club’s “He Said Schia-yes” t-shirts are non-refundable.

That Turkey call is a well-earned break from golf.

There were 3 shooters in the JFK shooting: Oswald, the grassy knoll, and a squirrel in a tree on Dealey Plaza.

I’m missing how Putin is involved in this...

Man Who Benefitted From His Dad in Twitter Beef With Man Who Benefitted From His Son, reported on by Man Who Benefitted From His Dad.

Braised beef is brilliant!

Producer: “Cue up something for the loss of Roy Halladay.”

Or someone not “smart” enough to ask their “barber” not to make them look like a “complete asshole.”

100 fucking percent FIFA. I’ll put my house on it.

Bledsoe may hate it there, but at least it’s a dry hate.

Somewhere, Conor McGregor is watching this and furiously taking notes for his next fight.

There’s a subtle thing here that’s especially lovely: Pop’s the US Men’s National coach for the rest of Trump’s term. And that fucking RULES.

The Civil Rights Act of 1917 really was a landmark piece of legislation now that I think about it.