First he praised Missouri’s football teams, but I did not speak, for I had no idea they still had football teams in Missouri.

I don’t see the problem, Rick Reilly was assured by multiple sources that all the POC in Denver live on the same block, shop at the same store and eat at the same restaurant and he is just trying to avoid awkwardness for everyone involved in this sticky situation.

Look, when you’re near Chris Paul, protect your balls. Those who ignore history are condemned to getting pounded in the nards.

Fortunately most people who consider these guys role models are too young to vote, addicted to something, or Darren Rovell.

Johnny Used To Play Football.

This is great, we have so much extra flexibility with the money we got back from Johnny’s bonus!

In retrospect it ~was~ a mistake getting the entire text of the 6 year, $114 million 49er contract tattooed on his arms.

Sweet, my complete disdain for the guy has now been vindicated.

I mean, at least it's a gneiss picture.

Lord knows everyone is lining up to kiss it today.

Only an asshole would complain about shortcuts and say U instead of YOU.

Straight Up.

“Build a wall! (around the three point line)“

Cue all the imbeciles who won’t get the joke in the headline. I’ve already fallen for this shit. Put another W in the win column for the Warriors. Winning 112-95 against the Lakers still counts as a win Deadspin!

It looks like nobody is paying too much attention to that memo ESPN sent to the talent a few months ago, the one urging them all to refrain from making political comments.

In the greater sense it failed, though, as Mallorca’s possibly boner-sporting players took to the pitch against Athletic Club and lost, and were then relegated at the end of the season.

It worked so well that all of those players got what they really wanted from their time in Thailand: a release.

Shots fired.

Look, man. It’s News, OK? What more do you want from us? Shit.

Playing for the Brewers for a couple of years should clear this right up.

How the fuck can I not get a job with ESPN.