In accordance with Viking tradition, Ragnar will set fire to his Kia Optima and drive it into Lake Minnetonka.

The fan finally achieved his dream of participating in a semi-professional football game.

I haven't seen a Longhorn that confused about what to do since Vince Young took the Wonderlic.

Yeah, you often get caught trying to stretch a double into a triple.

So Mahtook was 5 for 5 and Martin was 2 for 3?

The “North Dakota” is basically a “no nickname” option, a move that the people who want to bring back the Sioux nickname want because they think if another nickname gets chosen it makes it less likely they’ll be able to have it restored.

i bet he eats his pizza with a knife and fork

In a similar mixup, the Toronto Film Festival inadvertantly aired The Room in its place.

Not pictured: all the fired Gawker Media staff.

I’m growing more and more uncomfortable with the seemingly increasing progressive notion that people’s backgrounds must be fully delved into and punishment doled out for things they did years and years ago, retroactive, permanent punishment. It strikes me as so anti-liberal.

“cheated during the Super Bowl”

“Robert is on our football team. ...It’s a good problem to have, to have 3 quarterbacks competing”

It’s Mark.

Dawkins is survived by Hersey Hawkins, Dominique Wilkins, and my confusion.

“I’m searching for a word here,” he said. “It’s unbelievable. It’s incomprehensible.”

Banned for “Anne Hathaway”

How have you freaked out your fellow fantasy managers?

5 Guys makes a good cheeseburger.

Well, it should be noted that Dan Orlovsky enjoys the safety of membership on the Lions roster.

When my brother and I were little, we did “gymnastics” at this local place in town. Really, it was just us rolling around on the mats, hanging on the bars, and climbing through tunnels. It was recreational fun. My parents were happy to have us out of their hair for an hour or so.