They actually suspended him because his initial meme was “too Curt.”

So does this mean they’ll be in the next Republican debate?

Crazy! I didn’t know Goodell had the same speechwriters as Donald Trump.

Look, I'm a Pats fan, but enough with the stories about Roger Goodell losing in court. And maybe ease up on the name calling?

I like this new tactic. Given Goodell’s track record, I fully expect Brady not to be on the field week 1.

“Even I think that guy is an enormous dick.”

Goodell: Good God, was he symptomatic?

The Lion wasn’t done laughing in the face of mortality yet.

#HappyAsARam

I would’ve paid a LOT of money to have Hard Knocks follow the Redskins this year. This shitshow is like a car wreck, if car wrecks were a hoot to watch.

WWE Executive Vice President Paul “Triple H” Levesque

“1. June 8, 1977-Present

This reminds me of Daniel Tosh’s “web redemptions,” except the host isn’t super fucking annoying.

Predicted response from pundits immediately upon hearing the decision:

You know you’re in great shape when a minor change in your golf grip leads to a collapsed lung.

Good riddance, I hear she’s a total bitch.

.

Usually when I try to score this quickly from second base, the only sacrifice required is a night on the couch.

God dammit. I edited it, but let it be known how much of a fool I am.

I am creating a unique position, housed in the Division of Athletics, that has the authority and oversight of all student-athlete behavior.