You’ve got some hard mental calisthenics to do before the season starts.

Tough luck, Frenchy.

“That really ticked me off. I don’t mind you critiquing my coaching style, but to make fun of my weight, that’s unfair. I’m only 225... 230... Fine, maybe 245. Ok, I’ve put on a few — 260. What? Seriously... Alright alright alright - 300 pounds... And tack on another fifty... nine.”

Listen, we don’t have time for your “facts” and “sound logic” and “proper spelling.”

What’s the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull?

They must be offering him a pretty penny if he’s willing to leave the Iraqi Division I Basketball League for the Kings.

This comment is particularly excellent.

“The situation in Washington is an absolute disaster.”

What a diva — Ryan Mallett isn’t that bad.

I mean, even trash teams like Virginia win three games in conference play.

Are you positive it was the Moscow-Pullman Daily News? I’m pretty sure it was the Moscow-Paxton Daily News.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to have a backflip celebration after that kind of a goal. You probably should just shake the goalkeeper’s hand and carry on.

This is cute, but it was kind of sad when a fan had to do this with Prince Fielder during the Jays-Rangers game.

And the NCAA keeps on Bohning student-athletes. Sunrise, sunset.

“Alright, take your seats everyone. Welcome to ATHL 101: How to Find Your Fall Guy.”

Hey now, Derelicte is a classy brand, no need to hate.

...snow-crazed pensioners are double-fisting penis pills ...

But he had, I’m guessing, read select passages from the Old Testament that deal with female hygiene, and had committed them to memory.

“I just told him, ‘Play the game the right way. Try and hit the white ball coming at you out into that big area inside the lines, preferably not at one of the other team’s guys. And if you do hit it, run towa — nevermind, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.’”

Sure, but I think he took the term “backup” a little too seriously.