I’m not looking for guidance on when it’s okay to fuck from someone who’s voluntarily celibate and views “caresses” made by the clergy as adultery.

I think he could probably toggle the switch on, but wouldn’t know where to put the coffee grounds.

I heard he can lick his eyebrows.

Good for them! Recovery is a journey and everyone has their own path. Complete abstinence isn’t for everyone, but I thought given their previous overdose, it would be worth trying for Demi Lovato.

Looking forward to when the theme for the Christmas decorations is neon beer signs, dogs playing poker, a haze of cigar smoke, and a pyramid of empty PBR cans.

“Jezebel should be more of a starfucking publication that courted celebrities and that it was important to not be mean.”

Oh come on, JoJo Siwa is pre-lit. She probably was pre-lit from the womb.

This motherfucker’s going to walk.

Her essay on the Cut is very readable and compelling.

I feel like Dr Phil’s support of President von Fuckface makes him the more corrosive element.

I think “Doctor” Phil’s a worse mistake than Dr. Oz.

All that clay that Shailene Woodley is having him eat is weighing him down.

Aaron Rodgers is not a big American man, he is 5'10".

Has he been given the Steve King treatment where he retains zero committee assignments?

I think when any woman makes congeniality a part of their “brand”, someone’s looking to get an angle to prove it’s not true.

I believe it and Kris is gross.

I’m pretty sure nothing Kim does is done without checking on what it will do to her Q-rating.

I had a really long stretch of bad ideas in my 20's, which also coincided with my alcoholism. Weird.

I compost & I still love my garbage disposal. Also, I live with a kid that likes noodles and cereal and I fucking hate washing dishes with leftover Frosted Flakes and soggy noodles. Team Garbage Disposal.

Quick! It’s time for another racist hit piece on Meghan!