People, stop buying canned beer.

This is really the only correct answer. Left to my own devices I’d sleep on a bale of hay underneath some dirty beaver pelts.

I love the coconut! Great on its own bonus delicious topped with blueberries and almonds!

Me: “Jesus Christ, this is so insulting, people should stop all this crude speculation about their sex lives, they’re OLYMPIC CHAMPIONS, focus on the SPORT ASPECT!”

“I guess that was the short program,” Tessa said, watching the smoke rise from the end of her cigarette.

I support trolling in most cases especially when corrupt organizations like the IOC are involved, but this lady is shit. She must have spent a million dollars flying around the world to “compete” in the qualifying events that allowed her do this. This entire thing is essentially an extreme vacation for an eccentric…

Old Navy. I swear by their fold-over yoga pants. I also have a pair of Columbia boot-cut pants that I love (they’re call ‘back beauty’ pants, ha...I just looked them up). Both are decently thick material and super comfy.

I’mma gonna start at the Tongan dude and work my way back towards home.

I think the erection they get holding a fully automatic assault rifle is around 30% more turgid than the one associated with its semi-automatic counterpart.

Seconded. If there’s a hand dryer and no paper towel I’ll just dry my hands on my jeans and use my sleeve to open the door. It’s disgusting, but I’m not putting my hands in those death traps.

I would have preferred Schenn ripping off Landeskog’s shirt, but I’ll take it.

I’m here to win medals and get laid, and it looks like they’re all out of medals.

Six-stem salami bouquet just ordered for my beautiful bride. We’ve been doing low-carb together for 7 months.

Must just be me, then. I seem to enjoy eating Frosted Mini Wheats if it’s picked up from our household. But adding even more sugar just seems like a cop out.

He WILL try to sing Prince. And AFAIK the only white boy that can do that is Adam Levine.

My wife is a vegetarian, I don’t attend or host Super Bowl parties, and I don’t have real-life friends to feed this to, so I’m just going to bookmark this and look at it every once in awhile in private.

Some people use PornHub, I use AllRecipes.

Is there a way I can just make money (not a lot but some) by just being mean to them over the phone for a few minutes?

Toucher & Rich?

They won’t make playoffs.

Pat Foley has gotten really weird since he was brought back to the Hawks (soft serve ice cream, tree terdy tree etc), but when he actually focuses and calls the game...he’s still one of the greats.