Me too!

Hey Jezzies! How was your Saturday? Do anything interesting or fun, or did you have an equally good day just sitting around the house and letting the week’s crazy wash off?

‘Renee Zelwegger isn’t listening when you talk about her new face’... maybe she just can’t hear you with all that extra skin tucked into her ears.

If that’s a new face, her doctor is doing it wrong, because she looks prematurely aged.

“In bird culture, this is considered a dick move.”

Trump’s response:

You start to question all your choices: Why did I wear these stupid shoes, with these ugly pants...

I think she means she’s found a kindred spirit in her modem and no longer feels the need to knit sweaters for people she’ll never meet.

Perfectly reasonable. Send the chicken on a search.

Someone more internetty than me please make a bernie princess gif.

Yeah but they’re GREEK. If you spray a young girl with windex all age restraints and sense of common decency/morality are off...or something...the grandfather has a pretty epic monologue about it while shooting a snuff film.

Someone commented on another post:

I know. People would still love him or love him more if he owned it and got back out there. We’re all getting older but there’s only one Richard Simmons.

Tyga and his landlord are not in a great place right now.

You answered your own question, buddy.

She didn’t date an A-lister while she was still hot is my take on how these things go awry.

If only Kate McKinnon as Hillary Clinton could be the one running.