Pai deserves a lot more than a simple crowbar to the shin. Upgrade to the Xfinity Comments Plus package to read more.

I know I’m not supposed to wish crowbars to the shins on people, but hey, the heart wants what the heart wants.

“in University” and “Kraft Dinner” outs Nicholas as a low-down, shifty-eyed, Labatt-drinking Canuck.

It’s a crime to lie about it to the FBI and Congressional committees, and to ask the head of the FBI to drop the investigation, then fire him when he doesn’t.

Fuck you I voted for Hillary despite not being a fan.

Oh shit, BITcoin???

If you’d put $5000 into Google in 1996, you’d have a shitload of money. WTF is your point?

If you put $5,000 into a humor detector on January 1, 2017, then you’d be able to comprehend the meaning behind my comment today. Have fun with that knowledge.

Because of the sentences immediately preceding that one.

Bitcoin isn’t real?

Nah, there’s no pattern.

There were 3 shooters in the JFK shooting: Oswald, the grassy knoll, and a squirrel in a tree on Dealey Plaza.

Pictured: Curry (left) and Durant.

Except if the goes the Mets where he will injure himself signing the contract and the medical staff will botch his recovery for the next 6,000 years.

wan’t planning on it, no

These guys all could have learned a thing or two from that Ohio judge/Governor candidate who has fucked 50 attractive women.

I started writing a whole long spiel about how you could make changes to the system and halfway through I realized I’m just fucking tired of this. I’m someone who doesn’t own a gun and wants to be able to go to concerts, or go see a movie, or play a congressional baseball game, or go to church, or go to school, or…

Should Gronk be threatened by this? I want to say there’s room for two here.

that they're not bigger or claw-ier?