My high school football team was so bad that teams would go up on us by 40, 50 by half time and then sub in their sophomores or end of the bench people. One game we were down 58-2 at the start of the second half. Somehow we managed to play absolutely out of our minds and managed to get the score to 58-50 with a little…

I live 25 minutes from a giant fireworks and sex toy shop. I love living on the IL/WI border. 

The proper way to make the dick is 8=======D~~~~

He weirdly relied heavily on Steph Curry, chucking in 54 on 29 3PAs 

I mean, cinematically, the episode was incredible and truly a testament to how BIG the show has become...but narratively there was a lot to worry about. I loved it, but it’s not a perfect episode of TV by any means

He was less excited about that than I get when I make a paper ball into the trash from like 10 feet away

I know it’s not going to surprise anyone, but twitter was FULL of “SHE PROBABLY SENT IT TO HERSELF TO FRAME TRUMP!!!!!1!!!!!11!!!!!1!!1!” takes this morning...

Having drank my fair share of Rockdale light (and the sometimes present but never pleasant full Rockdale), I gotta say - it truly is a good way to get drunk if you hate yourself enough

Tequila and OJ.

You will feel like a warm breakfast hug

Never doubt Fred.

Okay, I’ll bite.

The people who did not vote are obviously idiots, yes, but they are nowhere near the brain dead motherfuckers who actually voted for this piece of shit person

How does one go about becoming a emergency goalie on call?

Used to have luscious, flowing locks. I attribute the numerous compliments I racked up to Mane ‘n Tail. That shit is great

Well, he’s actually 32. His birthday isn’t until Dec. 30th (My birthday too!)

I, as a semi-pro stoner, have overseen plenty of first hits.

John is clearly a fucking monster.

As a longtime rugger, I gotta say that the shorts are one of the best parts of the game. They are just so damn comfy

FIFA for sure. Once I kicked a chair through a wall because of that game.

Krispystrips Porntosis

So glad that the NBA is back. These are the kind of stories I love.

I worked for Steak n Shake for 6 years and fuck that place super hard in the ass.

Also poor Lin.