Fuck you I voted for Hillary despite not being a fan.

Oh shit, BITcoin???

If you’d put $5000 into Google in 1996, you’d have a shitload of money. WTF is your point?

If you put $5,000 into a humor detector on January 1, 2017, then you’d be able to comprehend the meaning behind my comment today. Have fun with that knowledge.

Because of the sentences immediately preceding that one.

Bitcoin isn’t real?

There were 3 shooters in the JFK shooting: Oswald, the grassy knoll, and a squirrel in a tree on Dealey Plaza.

Pictured: Curry (left) and Durant.

Except if the goes the Mets where he will injure himself signing the contract and the medical staff will botch his recovery for the next 6,000 years.

wan’t planning on it, no

These guys all could have learned a thing or two from that Ohio judge/Governor candidate who has fucked 50 attractive women.

Fuck me, you’re right

I started writing a whole long spiel about how you could make changes to the system and halfway through I realized I’m just fucking tired of this. I’m someone who doesn’t own a gun and wants to be able to go to concerts, or go see a movie, or play a congressional baseball game, or go to church, or go to school, or…

Niko Mirotich & Bobby Portis.

Should Gronk be threatened by this? I want to say there’s room for two here.

Well, ok, but if I get rid of my single serve coffee machine I’m going to need to find another physical manifestation for my crippling loneliness.

Like Becca, I would like to apologize to everyone for perpetuating a fraud, as I am neither French nor from Montana.

Go to better restaurants.

that they're not bigger or claw-ier?