Sabathia: [hiccups] Hey man, better help me finish this drink. It looks like they just took the tarp off the field.

CC on the bench only increases the chances of a bender.

yeah but if you project that to the full 48, he’ll end up shooting a perfect 4/20.

He's twice the man I am

Enjoy your practice squad cars and your practice squad beds and your practice squad apartments. After I’m done doing throws here I’m going to step inside the mouth of a whale and the whale will take me to my luxury condo out near the edge of the continental shelf where mermaids will be my bed. Do you get it? I am…

The first thing CC needs to do is realize that what he has is a disease. He may think that he can control it by making better lifestyle choices on his own, but without treatment this could seriously harm his health and jeopardize his playing career. And I know how hard taking that step can be, being a Type 2 Diabetic…

Looks like his belt wasn’t the only one on the mound struggling with a bad hangover.

“We’ve been calling for them to send him to Double-A all year”

Times like these you wish you had 500 CC’s of something hard.

More like a C.C. Sabbatical amirite?

He thinks he’s setting a good example and being a good role model but the greatest Yankee of them all was Mickey Mantle, and The Mick never would have gone to rehab.

Welcome to “Suh Wants to be a Millionaire?”!

except older

Roger Goodell: [takes credit]

Andy Reid: [raises hand] Are we not counting the cardiac variety?

Pacman Jones: Fuck yeah, motherfucker! Let’s celebrate!

If they go to the southern hemisphere, do they bring toilets that flush clockwise?

The Bucs just wipe the feces around the locker room

I’m so into routine that I use the same toilet paper again and again.

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