Right? Officer HELL NO.

White people: “Wait: what? We can DO that?”

You were almost right!

This hearing kickoff was SO emotional. Everybody was crying. Counting down until I hear redhats say they were faking.

What a dumb twat.

Ronny Jackson is a mediocre white man! You can believe that shit!

I’m not sure why, but the name Philipp T. Jordt keeps cracking me up. Why three Ps in Philipp? Was it Phillippe and misspelled? Did they mean two Ls and added the wrong consonant? Please tell me the T stands for The, because Philipp the Jordt is a totally fitting moniker for that man-baby mugshot. Jordt. Is that…

You know what? I babysat for Whitley Strieber during that time and he said NOTHING about aliens. Nor did I get hazard pay! 

LOLOLOL Thank you!!!!!

Pelosi: Let’s have a bipartisan commission

Well now! May I introduce you to Mount Laurel’s 2021 King and Queen of the Racist Prom. What a lovely couple.

The lights in the valley remind me of the staging area in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. AND the spaceship came from the clouds.

Can we just replace Carlson’s head with this? It’s equally as appetizing and the fat content is lower than his actual head:

Thanks to all who pointed out the error of my thinking. And please watch Dr. Death on Peacock.

18? In dog years, maybe.

Rand Paul was an opthamologist years and years ago, qualifying him to treat eye and vision problems. His medical credibility is in line with Joshua Jackson’s on Dr. Death: on paper only.

TEXAS: Now Even Stupider! - Bonus Racism while supplies last!

What an absolute blockhead. Didn’t think he was actually killing off the Republican base, did he? Now it’s too late, with his Cro-Magnon hairline self. They’ve literally poisoned the well their viewers drink from. Maybe if ALL of the Fox News “personalities” get down on their knees and beg, and show their vaccine…

(rolls eyes and sighs loudly) For the last time, but probably not, a right to free speech isn’t guaranteed from anyone except the government, you dumb dishrag. Also: freedom of speech comes with accepting its consequences, you bunched up panty liner.

Hey, c’mon you guys! It’s haaarrrrrd for a skinny, aging white woman out here! Every morning you wonder: did I make the right choice between ass or face? She looks in the mirror daily and sees another crack, another line that fillers can’t defeat (nor HD hide). The after you spackle yourself together, put on your…