I only learned this year, my 38th, that you should make your s’mores with a Reese’s peanut butter cup for the chocolate layer.

Man you must of either got beaten by a priest or woke up with a ruler up your ass.

Who’s this Heyward fellow you’re blathering about.

I’ll take Milwaukee over Detroit.

I’d rather live in Philly than Cleveland, Cincinnati, Indy, and Detroit combined.

To be fair, there are more big, cheap apartments, more beers for under $2, and the quality of beef for your dollar is much higher.
To continue being fair, you’ve also got WAY more Klan chapters per capita.

I just want to thank Oklahoma’s continued suckitude keeping Texas from floating into the Gulf of Mexico, according to a scientifically accurate joke I heard.

There’s nothing to do in Oklahoma, flatlander. Leave the fun times to better people in better states. Now, go tend to your dirt farm.

“...with notably fewer rats and significantly less garbage”

A Kop, or Kopite, is a nickname Liverpool supporters give themselves. It’s in reference to the fans who sit at the end of Anfield known as “The Kop.”

+1 locally marketable player 

New level of losing: The Broken Tibia Game 

Celtics fans are going to be intolerable if Jaylen makes the leap this year.

There are many white Latino people.

No, pus-filled.

It sounds like TMNT, and that’s final. We’ve decided on this five years ago, and do the US Mutant Ninja Turtles song. I still don’t know why this isn’t our mascot.

who has the time for that anymore?

IT’S TIRICO TIME, BABY

“Man, the Browns are getting killed out here. You’d think they played in Las Vegas.”

“Well at least he didn’t mention the spread.”