I thought it was an older Red Forman

Can we really trust Tim Murphy? I heard he sleeps with people’s prom dates.

So kill your health and kill yourself
And kill everything you love
And if you live you can fall to pieces
And suffer with my ghost

“That’s still long enough to save 10%” - Geico

Oh please. “Smart” is a hoax invented by the Chinese. Sad!

This would be a great opportunity for Spicey McSpiceface to go rogue:

I think it’s obvious why KJ couldn’t appear in court - he’s preparing for his new role as FBI Director!

Boy, Trump’s staff sure screwed this one up. It wasn’t supposed to come out until after Sean Spicer told the press about the President’s extensive workout routine and love of aerobics.

How many nuggets does your soul cost?

“I don’t see what the problem is” - Mickey Rooney

“Blech! I need to take a shower,” because she disliked her candidate so much,”

Correct. Black-yellow-white uniforms and still in the playoffs are about the only things I know about the Penguins, which is more than I know about most hockey teams. Oh, and they have that Bing Crosby guy, right?

“Wow, that Pittsburgh guy sure is a dirty player” - Draymond Green

Just wait til this evening when Trump says that HE made the decision to run an extra second off the clock.

Amen. They should have simply made the choice to have higher paying jobs.

Unfortunately, this is actually bad news for the cheerleaders, as “receiving minimum wage” will now be considered a pre-existing condition.

“This is NOT MY FAULT” - Fyre Dentistry CEO Ja Rule

And totally redeem themselves!

“Dystopian Visions”? Why would anyone want to take a class on Steve Bannon’s masturbation material?

“This was clearly a hilarious comedy, you just didn’t get the jokes.” - Jeff Sessions