...release a traitor from prison...
Detective Briscoe
detectivelenniebriscoe
[Cornell and Roger Ailes sit in Charon’s barge, and open their complimentary meals.]
This has to be my current favorite!
Can we just skip the impeachment and annul this presidency? I’d say we could just abort it, but we’re in the second trimester, and Paul Ryan is going to make sure we carry it to term, even if it kills us.
I am just going to leave this here and let it marinate in the shittiness of the past few months:
As a very active President with lots of things happening, it is not possible for my surrogates to stand at podium with perfect accuracy!....
One day, the kids will see the movie and ask, “Did it really happen like that?” And we will shake our heads sadly and explain that, no, it was so much stupider.
The backwardness of the “drugs pouring over the border” angle is astounding. First, most all of the weed smoked in the US these days is grown here. No one wants to smoke the Mexican product. Second, the the drugs that are ruining the rust belt are prescription opioids, made by the companies that funded his goddamned…
Not enough of a fuss has been made about Ivanka going to Berlin for the W20 summit. She has no qualifications to work in policy, international law or norms, diplomacy, or women’s rights. She has no reason to be the representative for our country, other than being the daughter of the president. She is not a fucking…
Here’s a nice story about Amy Schumer, an emergency bathroom stop and a $2,000 good deed.
Today, I learned that Eddie Murphy had a child with Scary Spice and 12 year old me is confused, and 26 year old me wishes she didn’t care. But she does..she does.
Maybe he finally looked his daughter in the eye, only to be overwhelmed by existential despair when he saw how ashamed she was of him.
When you’re coming up on someone on the highway, and they’re too afraid to use cruise control, and instead of being steady with their foot, their speed fluctuates between 65-85, and I’m forced to pass you 6 times because every time I pass you, you speed up top 85 and then pass me and then slow down to 65, or I’m stuck…
Let’s review *exactly* what you said that I called you out for:
Motherfucker you’re a special kind of stupid aren’t you?
Baseless assumption.