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I’d love to know what is so awesome about a sedan, aside from the fact that it existed before the CUV/SUV form factor became the new default.   Why the fuck would I want a three box car over a two box car?  WHY?  

Their website has build examples and I have found something amazing.

I laughed out loud, not going to lie.

Get kei van, add Nissan Pao camo, get vanity plate that says “KAPAO"

That’s right, my work-pod is window-less and filled with “productivity fluid.”

Lol there are no frills like windows at Jalopnik HQ

*Thinks back to Corolla that ate 2 engines and 3 transmissions under warranty, while being a general rattle trap all around*

I like the bug zapper article on the bottom right.

Typical dumb lazy comment.

It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

SHIT TONS OF SALT YO. 

This just in: Driving your car over curbs can damage the suspension.

Cargo shorts are making a comeback. You just wait.

Because practicality is hot.

The first time I saw a Cullinan I thought it was a shitty nose job tacked on a cheap SUV until saw the side and rear. Saw it again closer a few days later and verified, nope, really was a Cullinan and the front really looks as cheap as a poorly done Chrysler 300 Bentley grille.

Oh how the turn tables, Henry.

I agree with your basic premise “I’d love to maintain cars in the hands of human beings, but eliminate the drudgery that sucks all the joy out of driving,” but disagree somewhat with your point 1. I would like to be able to go downtown and not worry about watching my alcohol consumption. In other words, have a nice

They did a better job than Rolls Royce did on their SUV. Rolls somehow managed to make theirs look like a Chinese knock off of a real model somewhere. This Kia though just absolutely nails the styling.

For some reason auto journalists (or maybe just Jalopnik) have decided that the Telluride/Palisade is “OMG this thing is humongous!!!!!!” large. Which is comical when you actually see the vehicle in person and realize it is basically a Pilot/Explorer, not a Traverse, Tahoe, Suburban, etc.  

“I guess as far as SUVs go, this one isn’t awful.”.